Not like Lieutenant Dan.īut if you manage to turn things around, well then oh baby: you’re gonna have to warn your wife, ‘cause you’re gonna have so much extra jizz for her! This is not a joke, they genuinely do recommend that you warn your wife about all the extra jizz you’ll have for her. If you continue the path of the masturbatory sinner, things aren’t going to end well: sex with your wife will be worse, your neighbours will have less respect for you, you won’t be as driven in your career, and you will burn in hell for all eternity.īe like Forrest. Instead, you should have a mind as pure and clean as Forrest Gump (more on this later). That’s called mental foreplay and is just as bad as infidelity itself. I’m paraphrasing here, but God said something along the lines of “put your jizz in your wife and not your in socks.” You also shouldn’t think about sex and you shouldn’t look at anything remotely sexy unless it involves your wife. It’s almost like jerking off is just a really common thing you can manipulate lonely people into feeling guilty about.Īnyway, Arterburn and Stoeker consider masturbation sinful. Many people will tell you it’s bad, but they don’t seem to agree on the reasons why. The same thing produces opposite effects depending on who you talk to? It’s almost like all these people have no idea what they are talking about.
taught me back in Day Bang: you should cut down on masturbation so that you are hornier and more prone to approaching women. Arterburn and Stoeker claim that you should cut down on masturbation to help control your sex drive and make you less likely to approach women, which actually directly contradicts what Mr. The goals vary, but the common thread is this: they can harness your jizz to turn your life around.
The weiner is a serious source of anxiety for a lot of men, and it’s something everyone’s got an opinion on. Snakeoil salesmen love your jizz, and Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker are part of a long line of brave men committed to defending the integrity of our precious bodily fluids. recommends you bang LOTS OF women to impress your buddies. They both approach sex preoccupied with third parties: “Every Man’s Battle” recommends that you bang 1 woman to impress Jesus, and Roosh V.
And you know what? They used to be just like you, too. They are talking about issues we ALL face. They have plenty of anecdotes from men they’ve helped before. The authors each have a strict routine for you to follow. Both disdain masturbation. Though the books’ goals are explictly very different, there are actually some surprising parallels. That’s a book about finding women to bang while it’s daylight. The last sex guide I read for this club was Roosh V’s seminal work, Day Bang. And so I dove into “Every Man’s Battle” with high expectations. If the book had helped Beau, maybe I could finally turn my life around too. Upon first flipping through the book, I noticed that the pages got less crusty as they went along. I actually quite admire Beau for his determination and work ethic, even if he can be a little slow at times. I went abroad for work a few weeks ago, and to help me keep faithful to my gal while away, Beau Dashington was kind enough to lend his copy of “Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time” by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, a conservative Christian anti-masturbation guide. My Mama Always Used to Say, ‘LIFE IS LIKE AN AN ETERNAL BATTLE AGAINST JERKING OFF ALL THE TIME’ (2/10) by Admiral Fartmore